The "L" Barrier

Don’t worry I am not going to start blabbering about the change in this post. Some of my readers complained that I got a bit too serious with my previous post; moreover they tagged me as the “philosophical” guru. This post is nothing like that I promise, it’s meant to be subtly humorous- my apparent specialty as readers claim. It’ll surely make your lip muscles curl up like the crescent moon in the sky. Too lurid? Yes, I thought so too. I just meant it’ll make you smile. C’mon Shrey! This is your blog, not your English paper. My apologies readers, I’ll keep it simple, short and shreylicious (inventing new words, on my way to become a self-obsessed Shakespeare).  

I’ll just address you as the “reader” to avoid any complications and to make it very general. So, reader, what do you think about the topic of this blog post, “The L Barrier”? Pretty interesting? What do you think L stands for? Love, lazy, lumpy, luck, luxury, leopard? - No. It stands for language! Pat yourself on the back if you thought of language; If you didn’t think of language, don’t worry you’re still a genius because you’re reading my blog. You know my topic- The Language Barrier, now let us retrospect together…  

...October 15^th, 2013, I was travelling to the USA from India and I had one halt in between at France. We were supposed to have a halt there for only an hour, BUT “Aapki Asuvidha Ke Liye Khed Hai” happened (Self-blog reference, cheers if you got it). The planes were running late and ultimately we had a halt there for eight long, boring, tedious, tiresome, never-ending hours. Consequently, the airlines gave all passengers lunch and dinner coupons to compensate for their lousy service and unacceptable delay. Suddenly, we noticed that only a few employs were able to put up a conversation in English (mostly at the counters) and the rest conversed in their native language- French or Français as they say it. Employees at an international airport don’t communicate in English? WHAT. This discovery wasn’t that big of a shock until we realized that the workers (all of them) at the café didn’t speak English. Now the biggest challenge of my life (it seemed like that then) was to communicate with them and order my food. And when I say “my food”, I mean vegetarian food and no eggs too. My parents were in a dilemma, I could see their bewildered faces wearing a mask of disappointment and helplessness. This is where I come in with my French swag. I learnt French for six years of my life, I topped my school in the 10^th grade in French, I got an A* in the CIE French board examinations. That’s my French swag. And do you think there is any better place than France to test my French? So I started cracking up cheesy lines like “why to fear when the French-cap Shrey is here”. My parents were pretty convinced that their son could conquer the lady at the café by invading her territory using her language.

All my French swag was authentic, but it was also true that it had been over two years since my board examinations. Ever since then, my fingers hadn’t touched any French textbook; my eyes hadn’t read any French; my mouth hadn’t spoken any French; nor had my ears heard any French. I was just counting on my hippocampus to recollect all French vocab and verb conjugations. I was nervous. I walked up to the lady, and we did have a conversation, a weird one though. It was as follows:

Shrey: Bonjour madame (Good morning madam)

Lady: Bonjour! Comment puis-je vous aider? (Good morning! How may I help you?)

Shrey: Aujourd'hui est un jour fantastique. (Today is a fantastic day)

Lady: Ahh oui! (Ahh Yes!)

*AWKWARD SILENCE*

Lady: Avez-vous besoin de quelque chose? (Do you need something?)

Shrey: [Passes the coupons]

Lady: Ahh, Merci. Que puis-je faire de vous? (Ahh, Thank you. What can I make you?)

Shrey: Comment allez-vous? (How are you)

Lady: umm Je suis très bien, merci. Que puis-je faire de vous? (umm I am fine, thank you. What can I make you?)

*AWKWARD SILENCE*

This is where I crack up.

Shrey: Désolé madame. Mon français n'est pas très bon. Y at-il quelqu'un qui parle anglais ici? (Sorry madam. My French is not very good. Is there someone who speaks english here?)

Lady: Ahh bien sûr! Je l'aurai. (Ahh sure! I’ll get him.)

It turns out that the guy who actually knew English was on leave and the guy whom she got with her had worse English than the lady herself. I went back to where my parents were sitting only to get laughed at. My swag had to face the brutal sarcastic comments of my parents. You can hit me, beat me, whip me, burn me, scratch me, but you shouldn’t mess with me ego. My ego was hurt. To make it worse, dad challenged me to order food by any means possible, except for technology. I went back to the lady several times only to face disappointment and a muddled face.

At the end of another failed attempt, we both smiled at each other, rather at our helplessness I should say. Suddenly an idea popped up in my head. I hand-gestured her suggesting that I want to come in at the back of the counter where she was standing. She opened the door and allowed me in. I pointed at whatever I wanted, like for example pizza. She then pointed at each toppings, and I answered by just the movement of my neck. Vertical movement (up and down) was yes and horizontal (left to right) was no. Then in merely twenty minutes my order was ready. Nobody said a word. Nobody used a human translator. Nobody used Google translate. At the end, we smiled at each other and shook hands. The lady then said “Sorry, me no English.” I then laughed and said “Désolé mon français n'est pas bon.”(Sorry my French is not good.)

This is how I won dad’s challenge and learnt a very, very important lesson. Human communication is above language, technology or anything. I discovered the power of simple silly smiles and petty little hand gestures. A good experience all together; a memory to be shared and cherished.

PS: The lady’s name was Dominique. I knew enough French to ask her name, people c’mon!

For the people who didn’t get my reference of “Aapki Asuvidha Ke Liye Khed Hai,” scroll further down on my blog and read my most successful article with the same title.